People , who does not believe , are constantly in need in one way or another confirmation of love and respect for them . Often in relationships and interactions they see a catch , intent , hidden mockery . Diffident man is often difficult to understand , whether it recognizes the dignity or being drawn into the manipulation . Although he himself is very often a provocateur and manipulator . Eternal need to prove to myself , that him well are incredibly exhausting , it spoils the character , but it does not bring the desired result until the insecure person believes in himself and his own virtues !
Of course, self-doubt is different . Who – chooses a passive position and strive to hide “under the plinth” , not to participate in the lessons of life and let it go . Someone – it goes ahead , is actively trying to “take her” out of life . Active insecure people harm not only themselves , but also others and especially close ones .
How to recognize at first glance an insecure person with an active lifestyle ? How not to become his eternal emotional and energy donor , how not to spend time on manipulations , pressure and other destructive strategies of insecure people ? And how to help such people ?
1. A person with low self-esteem will require you to confirm the constant , that he is the best, or vice versa consent , that he did not know how or is not worth . Caution , this is a veiled need to assert itself at your expense .
2. diffident man often provokes conflicts or situations , in which people are forced to apologize and make excuses , to restore the good relations and to get rid of imposed guilt . In such situations, it is explosive to be near , try to find an opportunity to leave and not be present .
3. People with low self-esteem often see negative aspects and nuances in everything . Such people are always willing to find throughout the “drop of a fly in the ointment” , and others have to expend energy on it , that would be to listen to , what all the nerds and all badly done , and then another, and convince , that’s not so bad . Or a long time to accept the fact , that everything is really awful and only he – the best and only guarantee of stability . Be careful , keep a calm neutral position . You do not have to process other people’s emotions .
4. Insecure people often unreliable in relationships and interactions , since making your loyalty , they begin to look for other , who is also willing to acknowledge them their irresistible and greatest value . Be prepared for possible cheating and a sudden loss of interest in you .
5. People with a nervous , self-critical character often seek for years their ideal in work , relationships , hobbies and so on . They broadcast their dissatisfaction is all , that surrounds them . Be prepared to cavils , the eternal search for something – something to be desired .
6. Inside a querulous man lives empty . In fact , he has no interests absorbing his attention . In addition to the constant thought about , that he was “not up” to its own ideals and fear , that everyone will know about it . Therefore, he will surely try to fill the void within himself with the help of a lover , drawing out new and new declarations of love , admiration , gifts , promises to be always together . In the end, it will draw strength from you , after all, it is impossible for a person to be everything — a friend , a partner, and a “vest” .
7. Insecure people have internal instability , which means that in order to maintain pseudo-equilibrium , they often enter into various destructive roles and types of relationships . If you have already caught your uncertain playing the victim , perhaps , you should read about this in psychology .
Encountering such a difficult person , objectively evaluate , whether you accept it in such a difficult quality or proposed fall into destructive , or even fight with it , trying to impose their own point of view .
If you value the person , who has low self-esteem , but great ambitions and want to help him – start learning the basics of psychology for building harmonious relations or interactions . Of course , we can only change ourselves , our thoughts , emotions , actions , but changing ourselves and our attitude to situations , to people and life’s lessons – we are changing the whole world . We are able to build a harmonious relationship and contribute to the harmonization of the internal world , as some , and others .
Julia Sinyutina , causal psychologist .